To check out the first installment of Media Geek and the Glass Onion, click HERE
Recording a memoir was never anything I imagined myself doing. Well, at least not before Timmy Tribble decided that the universe needed one whether I liked it or not. Which explains how I’ve ended up sitting in my apartment, talking to a floating metallic orb hovering about four feet in front of me. Timmy calls it the “Personal Historian and Omniversal Narrative Archivist,” which is a bit more than a mouthful. I prefer going with the more simple “Floating Ball of Judgment.”
Apparently he based it on some recording device Lex Luthor used in a Superman movie and became mildly obsessed with recreating it. I have to say, he did a hell of a job.
It isn’t technically alive, though I’ve occasionally wondered if Timmy got a little too ambitious with the programming. It drifts when nobody touches it, tilts during emotional moments and somehow always seems to move closer whenever somebody raises their voice. Timmy insists that feature improves “narrative intimacy.” Roddy claims the machine is actually hunting. I guess with any sort of AI intelligence, it could go either way.
But right now, as I’m speaking to you, it’s simply hovering patiently in the middle of the room, humming softly while recording everything. And just to set the mood, I’m leaning back in my official starship captain’s chair and staring at it, trying to figure out where to begin.
I guess saying hello seems to be the best place. Hi. My name is Michael Greco, also known as MG. I’m an entertainment journalist, professional geek and, apparently, an accidental magnet for impossible situations.
Eileen
Before I get into the truly insane parts of this story, I should probably talk about the people in my life, because none of what happened makes sense without them. And there’s no one better to start with than Eileen.
If there’s one person who has kept me grounded through everything, it’s her. She’s smart, patient, calm under pressure and somehow still willing to be seen in public with me after all these years. Which honestly feels like an achievement worthy of recognition on its own, because I ain’t easy and there was a time when I nearly lost her.
For years, work consumed me completely. Movies, television, comics, interviews, deadlines, conventions. At first it felt like a dream in that I was getting paid to write about the things I loved. I was talking to actors, creators and people I’d admired for years, oftentimes tapping into my own childhood while doing so. The idea of it seemed impossible when I was younger, but suddenly it was my life.
Yet somewhere along the way, passion turned into obsession. There was always another assignment. Another interview. Another deadline. Another reason to put work first and life second. Including her.
Then COVID hit, and like it did for so many people, everything stopped. The career I’d built suddenly disappeared beneath me almost overnight. And for the first time in years, I was forced to sit still long enough to realize just how much of my actual life I’d nearly sacrificed chasing the next story. Funny thing is, stepping away from work may have saved the two of us.
Somehow we’re still here. And the universe for its part seems to have decided that emotional growth deserves some kind of reward, so it responded by introducing multiversal insanity into my life along with a whole new set of pressures that have pushed and pulled at our relationship. The good news is that we’re working our way through it. Together.
Fleischer
Describing Fleischer to people who haven’t met him is nearly impossible without sounding insane. Imagine someone created a superhero using nothing but Silver Age comic books, unlimited optimism and absolutely no understanding of moderation. That’s Fleischer.
He’s tall, broad-shouldered and built like somebody who exists solely to inspire confidence. Green and yellow suit, massive black F on his chest, cape flowing dramatically behind him whether there’s wind or not. He looks like heroism personified
The flip side of that is that he also might be the single least qualified person on Earth to possess that much power. Sounds harsh, but I can explain. Fleischer genuinely wants to help people, which is the thing that most people miss. Beneath the impossible strength, the impulsiveness and childlike enthusiasm, he has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. He always means well, but the problem is that he tends to operate on instinct first, common sense a day or two later. Case in point: he once tried to stop a bank robbery by throwing the bank into a river. His defense? “The robbers were still inside and they’re not going anywhere.” Well… he wasn’t wrong.
But that’s Fleischer in a nutshell: Genuinely heroic soul with enormous power and just enough lack of awareness that he turns almost every rescue into a disaster movie. Yet despite all of that, he somehow remains one of my closest friends.
Oh, he also has a pet Tyranno-Mouse named Mr. Skimbleshanks, who he insists on treating like a big dog, somehow missing the point that you cannot cross a T-Rex with a mouse and expect to come out of it with the equivalent of a dog.
Roddy
Roddy is… unique. Which feels like an understatement when you’re talking about a hyper-intelligent, snarky chimpanzee who walks through life with people somehow barely noticing that he’s just a little bit different.
He and his brother, Epa (and yes, everyone notices that Epa is just ape spelled backwards though he somehow thinks it’s brilliant), went through an instant evolution after being bitten by a radioactive human—which probably makes about as much sense as Peter Parker being bitten by a radioactive spider and becoming Spider-Man.
Roddy likes to claim that, inspired by both the original and newer Planet of the Apes films, he’s planning a full-scale simian revolution. Personally, I think he’s far too attached to pizza delivery and Marvel movies to ever fully commit. I also suspect he enjoys complaining about the world far more than actually trying to change it.
Most people find him intimidating at first, and not just because he’s, well, you know, a chimpanzee walking around in clothes and never at a loss for words. But what really unsettles them about him is how quickly he sizes them up. Roddy has this remarkable ability to make almost anyone feel intellectually outmatched within 12 seconds of meeting them. He’s admitted to me that he considers that a survival skill, and he’s probably right.
The funny thing is that underneath all the superiority, skepticism and cynicism is someone who cares far more deeply than he’d ever willingly admit. Of course, if i said that to him directly, he’d deny it while insulting me.
Timmy Tribble
Which leaves us with Timmy Tribble. Trying to explain Timmy to people who haven’t met him is almost impossible. Imagine if a tribble from the classic, and best, Star Trek series episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” somehow evolved into a five-foot-tall furry humanoid and immediately developed limitless energy, mechanical genius and deeply passionate opinions about pop culture. That gets you pretty close.
Timmy is a tinkerer, an inventor, an optimist and probably the single most enthusiastic person I’ve ever met. He approaches life with the kind of excitement most people lose somewhere between childhood and adulthood.
He genuinely loves being alive and there’s something pretty inspiring about that.
That doesn’t mean he isn’t exhausting, because, oh my God, he is. Timmy operates at a level of energy that feels almost supernatural. He gets excited about everything—movies, comics, technology, bizarre inventions, weird theories, snacks, old television shows and an endless list of other things. His mind jumps from subject to subject, but never in a scatter-brained way. Despite all of that chaos, he brings life into every room he enters and reminds you just how important wonder is.
When I stop to consider this strange little world that somehow formed around me, it feels nothing less than surreal.
Eileen.
Fleischer.
Roddy.
Timmy.
A woman who keeps me grounded. A superhero who tries a little too hard. A cynical chimp revolutionary with trust issues. A walking tribble identity crisis. And somehow, together, they became family. Messy, bizarre, occasionally exhausting, but family all the same.
Honestly, that would’ve been enough weirdness for one lifetime. More than enough. But as it turned out, the universe had much bigger plans for all of us. And that’s what led us—and now you—to the world of the Glass Onion.
To check out the comic strip version of Media Geek and the Glass Onion, click HERE
Media Geek & The Glass Onion is ©Edward Gross